So I'm going to let you in on a little secret, Nick and I are super OCD. For those of you that know us, you're probably laughing, saying, yeahhhhh we know that! No joke!
When Nick and I learned of Hudson's limb difference last fall, it totally rocked our world. The news completely came out of left field and we definitely were not expecting anything but a completely healthy pregnancy and healthy children. Our 16 week ultrasound would confirm our hopes and just a short three weeks later we would be thrown for a loop.
That's what the next 18 weeks would consist of. Lots and lots of worry.
What if something else was wrong?
Could they be wrong with Baby B's diagnosis?
So many questions, thoughts and feelings swarmed our minds from the time Hudson was diagnosed until he was born.
I can't even begin to tell you just how bad my anxiety was the remainder of my pregnancy. And I would be lying if I didn't say I felt robbed of my pregnancy. I really enjoy being pregnant. Being our final pregnancy, I wanted to enjoy every single second. Every move, kick, sleepless night. I wanted it ALL. I definitely did my best to enjoy it, but I was downright exhausted and this pregnancy definitely took a toll on me emotionally. I've always wanted to be a twin momma, and I constantly worried that this opportunity was going to be taken from me. Again.
January 24th was seriously a day that I know God and Peyton sat on each side of me, as we brought two beautiful Angels on Earth, into this world. At that instant, I knew that everything, and I mean everything, would be okay. Seeing Hayden and Hudson, I was overcome with emotion and found myself speechless. They were simply perfect.
All of the worry, tears and sleepless nights -- they were completely worth it. Because guess what, it's JUST AN ARM!! Nick and I have been through SO much worse. And, despite our OCD tendencies and longing for perfection, Hudson has given us a knew perspective and definition of perfection.
Hudson has been diagnosed with right below elbow amputation or R UE congenital limb.
What does this mean? Hudson's right arm simply stopped forming a little past his elbow. He has five small fingers that will remain small. He has both bones that would typically grow in your arm, but they do not have the growth plate to make them grow. His upper arm is the same length as it is on his left side. This is not something that is hereditary. To our knowledge, we have no limb differences in either of our families. And, this is not amniotic banding. It cannot be explained why Hudson's arm formed the way it did. A fluke.
And that's basically it. He will grow up simply knowing no different. And I have no doubt whatsoever that he will thrive and do amazing things.
Are Nick and I worried about what other's will think/say about Hudson's arm? Simple answer. Yes. Of course we are. The world can be cruel and unfair. But life is unfair sometimes, and it's how we react to situations that matter most. If we all saw the world through the eyes of a child, I think there would be a lot less hurt and judgement. Hudson was over a month old before Kaylee even noticed his arm. ONE month people!! She's 4.5! And anyone that knows Kaylee, knows you don't get anything past her. One day, Kaylee came up to me and said, 'hey mom -- look at Hudson's arm! Why isn't my arm like that?' Nick and I explained to her that Hudson has a lucky arm and she quickly chimed in
'well yeah, because God makes us different. We don't want to be the same or we'd all be boring.' Goodness I love that girl.
We will continue to take Hudson to Children's Mercy for evaluation and physical and occupational therapy. He has the option of being fitted for a prosthetic at six months old. Nick and I aren't sure what our thoughts are on prosthetics and we are letting Hudson and prayer guide us to our decision.
The next chapter of our story has opened and I'm excited to take you all with us on our journey.